Understanding Grief – What You’re Feeling Is Normal

Grief is the natural, human response to losing someone or something significant. It’s an emotional reaction that can feel overwhelming, disorienting, or even physically exhausting. Whether the loss was expected or sudden, whether you're feeling deep sorrow or numbness, it’s important to understand that there is no single “correct” way to grieve.

Grief Is Not Linear

One of the most common misconceptions about grief is that it moves through predictable stages in a straight line. While the well-known model of the five stages — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance — can be helpful for naming emotions, most people don’t experience these stages in a neat order. Some skip stages entirely. Others revisit the same emotion over and over again. You might feel okay one morning and devastated that same evening.

This is normal. Grief doesn’t follow a schedule.

Types of Grief

There are many different forms of grief, and recognizing them can help you better understand what you’re going through.

• Anticipatory grief occurs before a loss happens, often when a loved one is terminally ill.
• Complicated grief may persist longer than expected or interfere significantly with daily life.
• Disenfranchised grief happens when the loss isn’t publicly acknowledged (e.g., the death of an ex-partner or estranged relative).
• Collective grief can emerge in times of shared loss, like during a natural disaster or community tragedy.

Whatever shape your grief takes, it is valid and worthy of compassion.

Common Emotional and Physical Responses

Grief impacts not only your emotions, but also your body and mind. Here are some of the ways it may manifest:

Emotional symptoms:

• Sadness, anger, guilt, or fear
• Irritability or mood swings
• Numbness or detachment
• Longing or regret

Physical symptoms:

• Fatigue or insomnia
• Headaches or body aches
• Changes in appetite
• Weakened immune system

Cognitive and behavioral effects:

• Difficulty concentrating
• Forgetfulness
• Withdrawing from others
• Restlessness

These responses are part of the body’s way of adjusting to loss. It can feel frightening, but most of the time, these symptoms lessen with time and support.

How Long Does Grief Last?

There’s no deadline for grief. Some people begin to feel like themselves again after a few weeks or months. For others, the process unfolds over years. Healing doesn't mean forgetting. It means learning how to carry the love — and the loss — forward with you.

Milestones like birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays can intensify grief even long after the loss. This is also normal and expected.

Healthy Ways to Cope

Here are a few ways to care for yourself during this time:

• Talk about it – Share memories and feelings with people you trust.
• Write it down – Journaling can help express thoughts that feel too complex to say aloud.
• Take care of your body – Eat nourishing food, rest when you can, and move gently.
• Create rituals – Lighting a candle, visiting a special place, or creating a memory box can provide comfort.
• Ask for help – Grief counselors, support groups, or therapists can be lifelines during difficult times.

You’re Not Alone

Even though grief can feel isolating, you are not alone in this. Many people are walking a similar path, each carrying their own story of love and loss. There’s no rush to “move on” — only an invitation to move forward, at your own pace, in your own way.

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